I'm not sure what you meant by proxy decorator, but if you just want to resize an item when it's being dragged, it can be done.

Obviously this is just a quick demo, lots of edge cases are not tested. But if you are interested, here's the full source code used in the above demo:
import 'package:flutter/material.dart';
void main() {
runApp(MyApp());
}
class MyApp extends StatelessWidget {
const MyApp({Key? key}) : super(key: key);
@override
Widget build(BuildContext context) {
return MaterialApp(
home: MyHomePage(),
);
}
}
class MyHomePage extends StatefulWidget {
const MyHomePage({Key? key}) : super(key: key);
@override
_MyHomePageState createState() => _MyHomePageState();
}
class _MyHomePageState extends State<MyHomePage> {
final colors = [
Colors.red,
Colors.blue,
Colors.green,
Colors.orange,
Colors.purple,
Colors.pink,
Colors.cyan
];
@override
Widget build(BuildContext context) {
return Scaffold(
appBar: AppBar(
title: Text('ReorderableListView'),
),
body: ReorderableListView(
children: colors
.map((color) => Box(
key: ValueKey(color),
color: color,
))
.toList(),
onReorder: (int oldIndex, int newIndex) {
if (newIndex > oldIndex) newIndex--;
setState(() {
final color = colors.removeAt(oldIndex);
colors.insert(newIndex, color);
});
},
),
);
}
}
class Box extends StatefulWidget {
final Color color;
const Box({Key? key, required this.color}) : super(key: key);
@override
_BoxState createState() => _BoxState();
}
class _BoxState extends State<Box> {
bool _big = false;
@override
Widget build(BuildContext context) {
return GestureDetector(
onTapDown: (_) => setState(() => _big = true),
onTapCancel: () => setState(() => _big = false),
child: AnimatedContainer(
duration: Duration(milliseconds: 200),
height: _big ? 100 : 50,
margin: EdgeInsets.all(4.0),
color: widget.color,
),
);
}
}