Actually the topic you mention is interesting and in the meantime complex, just as Linux memory management is. As we know when the process is using more memory than the limit it will quickly move up on the potential "to-kill" process "ladder". Going further, the purpose of limit is to tell the kernel when it should consider the process to be potentially killed. Requests on the other hand are a direct statement "my container will need this much memory", but other than that they provide valuable information to the Scheduler about where can the Pod be scheduled (based on available Node resources).
If there is no memory request and high limit, Kubernetes will default the request to the limit (this might result in scheduling fail, even if the pods real requirements are met).
If you set a request, but not limit - container will use the default limit for namespace (if there is none, it will be able to use the whole available Node memory)
Setting memory request which is lower than limit you will give your pods room to have activity bursts. Also you make sure that a memory which is available for Pod to consume during boost is actually a reasonable amount.
Setting memory limit == memory request is not desirable simply because activity spikes will put it on a highway to be OOM killed by Kernel. The memory limits in Kubernetes cannot be throttled, if there is a memory pressure that is the most probable scenario (lets also remember that there is no swap partition).
Quoting Will Tomlin and his interesting article on Requests vs Limits which I highly recommend:
You might be asking if there’s reason to set limits higher than
requests. If your component has a stable memory footprint, you
probably shouldn’t since when a container exceeds its requests, it’s
more likely to be evicted if the worker node encounters a low memory
condition.
To summarize - there is no straight and easy answer. You have to determine your memory requirements and use monitoring and alerting tools to have control and be ready to change/adjust the configuration accordingly to needs.