android requestFocusFromTouch brings up menu with first item highlighted

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I set the focus and the first selected item on the listview like so:

this._listItems.requestFocusFromTouch(); 
this._listItems.setSelection(listViewLastPosition);

this causes menu come up with first item selected. How do I change that? I've tried to work with the selector but it does not work. How do I cancel the touch when menu comes up and enable it back if user hides the menu?

EDIT: I noticed that there is an orange background that is always visible under my selected item and here is my menu selector:

menukey_home_focus" and menukey_home are on transprent background which is why we see orange under. Which brings up two questions:

  1. how to change default orange background to fully transparent background (the stuff with setMenuBackground() all over the internet is NOT working, out code is in the activity base)

  2. how to cancel out focus altogether?

Either of these two will work. Second one is preferable.

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