I have a simple relation OneToMany parent - children. There are several operations that change the parent, and add a child. I haven't found yet a way how to do this without loading the children collection. If I don't load the children collection, then the existing children will be deleted (orphaned). No cascading or other options in the OneToMany solved this issue.
I would like to implement transactional outbox pattern using this technique, by adding events as a OneToMany relationship, so for most operations I only need to insert a child object (append only collection). But since the events list can get quite large, I don't want to load the events (eager or lazy).