The most basic approach would be to walk over the list, process the rest of it recursively and then append the current element to one of the three returned lists. You will need to add an extra parameters i to the function to keep track of how far in the list you are (and then use this to determine where should the current elemnt go). The general structure in the most basic form is:
let split l =
let length = List.length l
let rec loop i l =
match l with
| [] ->
// Empty list just becomes a triple of empty lists
[], [], []
| x::xs ->
// Process the rest of the list recursively. This
// gives us three lists containing the values from 'xs'
let l1, l2, l3 = loop (i + 1) xs
// Now comes the tricky bit. Here you need to figure out
// whether 'x' should go into 'l1', 'l2' or 'l3'.
// Then you can append it to one of them using something like:
l1, x::l2, l3
// Walk over the list, starting with index 'i=0'
loop 0 l
What to do about the tricky bit? I do not have a solution that works exactly as you wanted, but the following is close - it simply looks whether i is greater than 1/3 of the length or 2/3 of the length:
let split l =
let length = List.length l
let rec loop i l =
match l with
| [] -> [], [], []
| x::xs ->
let l1, l2, l3 = loop (i + 1) xs
if i >= length / 3 * 2 then l1, l2, x::l3
elif i >= length / 3 then l1, x::l2, l3
else x::l1, l2, l3
loop 0 l
This will always create groups of length / 3 and put remaining elements in the last list:
split [1..3] // [1], [2], [3]
split [1..4] // [1], [2], [3; 4]
split [1..5] // [1], [2], [3; 4; 5]
split [1..6] // [1; 2], [3; 4], [5; 6]
You should be able to adapt this to the behaviour you need - there is some fiddly calculation that you need to do to figure out exactly where the cut-off points are, but that's a matter of getting the +/-1s right!